How to Use Your Greatest Tool to Create Happiness
By Curtis Aiken.
In the last couple of years, I realised that the lifestyle I have been living and the beliefs I had of the world were no longer serving me. I learned through my search for meaning and happiness that the earlier years of our life, roughly from childhood until early 30s, are driven by our desire to fit in with what we think society wants us to be. This personality trait is often referred to as the ‘ego’. The ego is frequently described as being in opposition of our true nature which is God-like love and joy. I quickly made the opinions of my spiritual teachers my own without questioning whether or not I really agreed with the statement that when we live from a place of ego, we are Edging God Out – E.G.O.
The confusion of ‘spirituality’
The more I studied spirituality the more unhappy with my life I became. If I valued my physical possessions, I’m coming from a place of ego, from a place where God does not exist. But, for example, I like my house. When we built it, we were coming from this place of ego for sure. But was that such a bad thing? I have been able to manifest more in my life by embracing this ego side of me than I have since I began viewing my ego as a negative.
God created our ego, so it must be perfect. Why should we oppose any of God’s creations? The act of opposing anything only creates more of that thing in our life through focusing on it and the thing we focus on with regards to the ego is the apparent negative effects. Therefore, through opposing the negative effects of the ego, we attract them into our life (This is also true when we oppose war and animal cruelty, etc., by giving these subjects our attention we empower them to grow).
Back to what I said before; when I lived from the place of ego, I feel like I manifested more than I do now. Back in 2006 Candice and I wanted a new home. We weren’t going to settle for a pre-loved house; we wanted things to be designed our way. At that time, we were living with Candice’s parents in their beautiful 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom home with an office, home theatre, and a huge backyard. There was no way we were settling for anything less. We were told by several people, and I quote every single one of them here: “A 4 bedroom home with 2 bathrooms is not a first home buyer’s home”. Build or buy something smaller, we were told frequently. Even the mortgage lenders and home builders said that. So what did we do? We bought a large expensive block of land and built a 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom home on it, with a theatre, office, alfresco, and a huge backyard. Could we afford it at the time? No way! We weren’t about to let small detail such as income stand in the way of our material desires, though. I am not telling this story to impress you but rather to impress on you what we are capable of with the power of our minds.
We built the home and our wages increased proportionally in relation to our belief that we deserve this home fit for a king and all his servants. Then I got all spiritual. I learned about the ego. I learned about how I was edging God out of my life through desiring physical things. Phrases were popping up everywhere such as “disconnection to Source” and “misalignment with God’s plan”.
I learned I need to express love and gratitude to the world for a lifestyle I believe I am supposed to want which is one of abundance of all things but without attachment to anything. This can be interpreted in many ways, I am sure. But how I understand it was that by desiring something I had attachment to it, so I began to desire a Gandhi-like life full of joy and empty of possessions.
Talk about misalignment; this way of thinking was more stressful. God is THE Creator and we are made in his image. This means we too, are creators. Did God ever create something he didn’t desire? Non-attachment to physical things comes with an abundance mentality as it indicates we have a knowing that things will come and go in our lives but we will always have enough to survive. But, as soon as I began desiring ‘non-attachment’ to what I currently own and I ceased wanting more things, things slowed from flowing into my life. I got what I asked for.
In fact, the more spiritual I tried to be, the less happy I became. Is it wrong for an artist to be attached in some way to his paint and brushes? I am not suggesting an artist should cling to the original tube of paint and brushes that he started with but a desire for an abundance of those tools will bring them into his life so he can create his art. So, why should I desire less physically, and choose only an abundance of joy emotionally, when God created this physical world for us to enjoy?
The co-creation of physical things
Is an artist at his happiest when he asks God for joy emotionally or when he asked God for tools with which he will be joyful, when he creates with them? I don’t paint but am I any less of a creator than a painter ? God would not be The Creator if he didn’t create physical things. So, why shouldn’t I co-create physical things with God? Ego is not a separate part of us that opposes God through the desire of things; the way I feel is that ‘ego’ is a man-made word to ensure that even spiritual people conform to a spiritual governing body. It is clear that even nature has a desire for physical things; a beaver cannot build a dam without sticks and a bird cannot build a nest without twigs. I am willing to bet that the tradesmen involved in building our house were happy to have the opportunity to use their hands to create, too.
When we stop opposing our ego, we realise that a) we cannot be separate or misaligned with God, and b) that the act of opposing something brings more of that thing into our lives. God wants us to create. Our ego is how we co-create with God through the desire for physical expansion. Choose to live a Gandhi-like existence and what will God create, loin clothes? I am not opposing Gandhi, he was a wonderful and inspiring man but his lifestyle is not suitable for everyone.
God creates what we focus on without judgement. No wonder companies like Monsanto and pharmaceutical companies are taking over the world. The rest of us are opposing their ‘evil’ egos, but instead of opposing, shouldn’t we be creating the life of our own dreams? Their business is none of our business. Every thought we have that opposes drugs and GMO crops co-creates drugs and GMO crops. Every thought that opposes the Godless ego creates feelings of having a Godless ego.
Here’s an idea!
What if we were to embrace our ego? Not only is it one of God’s pure creations but also it is a tool God gave us so that we may co-create with him. Often, we can find the truth in the opposite of what the majority of people believe and it is becoming apparent that it may include the majority of spiritual people, too. Just because you shift from one paradigm to another doesn’t mean that the new paradigm is correct for you in every way, shape and form. Sometimes you may find that you are just following a new crowd instead of living as a unique individual.
Here is a statement to consider: “Money can’t buy happiness.” You will never hear someone with money say that statement from a place in which they truly believe it. You absolutely can find happiness through money. Have you ever paid to go to a theme park or even bought a bottle of shiraz? These may only bring about short term happiness but if you could afford more, couldn’t you combine a million short term moments of happiness to create a long term awesome life? Not everything in life requires money to make it happen but let’s not rule money out completely.
On one hand, we talk about God being abundant and then we force ourselves to desire fewer positions as a result of spiritual doctrine we are told to agree with, which actually limits God’s opportunities to provide abundance in our life. To believe there is even a line between abundance and greed is no more than a mortal judgement and is only possible to be calculated against what we perceive to be an appropriate volume of stuff. To a homeless person, someone in a third world country may appear greedy if they have shelter and receive charity money or food. To a person in a third world country, a middle-class Westerner may appear to be greedy by having a large home and an over stocked pantry. But to this middle-class Westerner, Bill Gates or Donald Trump may appear to be greedy. How much money do we really need?
Questions to ponder
I truly, truly admire Wayne Dyer. Most of that which I know with regards to spirituality is through his teachings and this ego matter is about the only thing I am not totally convinced about. Wayne Dyer said in one of his teachings that I listened to that people in third-world countries are in particular, the ones who need to hear the messages he and other such as Abraham-Hicks share with the world, for a simple shift in mindset will bring more abundance into their lives. Then he also quotes Byron Katie by saying “To believe that you need what you don’t have is the definition of insanity. That you can’t be fulfilled until you get all these things, that’s an illusion. Really, you don’t need anything more.”
Do we have enough no matter who we are and where we live? If not who determines the standard? Are we greedy and ego driven to want more than we have?
So, how can you use your ego to better your life AND the world?
People believe we are spirits here having a physical experience then they spend all their life just trying to be spiritual totally forgetting they are, in their own words, here for a physical experience. DON’T DEVALUE OR OPPOSE PHYSICALITY. LET BOTH EXIST. When you align your ego and your spiritual side you can be more and create more and in doing so you show others that they too can live an amazing physical life.
Abraham-Hicks says “Just Get Happy”. I agree 100%! Following on from what Abraham says, Wayne Dyer also says in The Shift ”Nobody needs to ask the question ‘what is my purpose?’ it will always be found in service, if you can just for one day put your attention on making life better for someone else, if you can focus on thinking like that, that’s how God thinks.”
In these modern times service comes in many forms, it is not limited to helping old ladies cross the road and volunteering at the local orphanage. If you can donate $1,000,000 to your favourite charity, good on you. If you found joy in running a successful business and you teach others to do the same, well done. If you buy an expensive car and start a limousine business, you are still serving others. Even if you save a little money and take your kids to Disneyland you are bringing joy to your family and creating employment for hundreds of people from air hosts to luggage handlers to taxi drivers to the dude inside the Mickey Mouse costume to the cleaners and many, many more.
Embrace and love your ego and life will embrace and love you right back.
Image Credit: Doro k.
♦ How can you turn your ‘selfish desires’ into something that creates opportunities for others?
♦ How can you better serve the world by being happy in this physical life?
♦ Can we simply retrain our minds to support us in new ways as we grow older and wiser?
Leave your comments below this article and also look out for our next article coming out in a few short days about how to choose happiness in your life and maintain it long term.
Did you enjoy this article?
Get Free Updates